tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7000103105398415784.post689674163008076469..comments2024-01-13T19:31:57.599-08:00Comments on Cave Mother: Cleanliness AnxietyCave Motherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08489375502067939290noreply@blogger.comBlogger9125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7000103105398415784.post-41175024587725308552009-10-11T19:39:13.706-07:002009-10-11T19:39:13.706-07:00I am so right there with you. I'm completely c...I am so right there with you. I'm completely confounded as to how I could be home all day every day and have a house that looks like it's teetering on the edge of hurricane-land. And I, too, experience that amazing "cloud lifting" feeling when things do manage to get neat and clean. I was shocked and not a little dismayed to realize some of my writers block last week was due to kitchen construction (which, of course, managed to infect the entire house!). Sigh. We do what we can and sweep the rest under the carpet until we have more energy :)Amandahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04167412850616073440noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7000103105398415784.post-61948951418070306912009-10-06T13:00:24.643-07:002009-10-06T13:00:24.643-07:00Yep, great comments. I will print them out and pa...Yep, great comments. I will print them out and paste to the fridge, Mon :)Cave Motherhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08489375502067939290noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7000103105398415784.post-63045153361624753392009-10-06T10:56:06.762-07:002009-10-06T10:56:06.762-07:00What Liz up there said.
Those last statements sou...What Liz up there said.<br /><br />Those last statements sound just the thing. print them out, paste them on the fridge. :)<br /><br />I personally find there's about 127 much more amazing things tempting me, so that I don't have time to suffer cleaniness anxiety. ;)Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11863793441609598153noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7000103105398415784.post-38649438664327448342009-10-05T10:57:41.955-07:002009-10-05T10:57:41.955-07:00I'm the same way re: cleaning. Unlike @Liz, t...I'm the same way re: cleaning. Unlike @Liz, though, my husband has a very high threshold tolerance to dirt and mess so I'm always the one cleaning. Having said that, though, I used to stress about it a lot (and wrote about it a lot, too). <br /><br />What I eventually did was make a schedule for myself. It's not set in stone, or anything, but it makes me feel better over all and my house stays tidy, too. When H was small and crawling everywhere I cleaned twice a week (Tuesdays and Fridays - never on the weekend, because, like my husband, my work-week was over and no one likes working on the weekends). As he's gotten bigger, I only clean on Fridays (to get the house clean for us to all relax together).<br /><br />I think of it as my office and I want my office clean. I spend SO much time there! And you're also right about the light of day, too. <br /><br />It's freaky how similar we are on things. I also figured that since I was at home the house was my job. I think of it as a part of my SAHM gig, but not the whole thing. I manage the business of our lives, after all, and that means the house stuff. I think it really helps if you have the weekends "off," too.Jessicahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10920104559343925583noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7000103105398415784.post-24378441163353676952009-10-05T03:54:38.437-07:002009-10-05T03:54:38.437-07:00hehehe...yes. I too somehow morphed from being the...hehehe...yes. I too somehow morphed from being the Artsy-fartsy student who was a walking red wine stain, to a vacuum wielding Fury who Does Dishes with a vengeance. Well, almost. I have become alarmingly tidy since The Moon came along. <br />And yeah - Liz said it so well, (about the Not Housewife status).<br /><br />Sometimes for me, it can be a case of being able to exert some order amidst what is generally the chaos of childhood. But I will always let my girl dig in the dirt, and wear chocolate across her chops, and jump in muddy puddles without intervention or following her around with a dustpan and mop.Antoinettehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10279365115311331326noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7000103105398415784.post-6062388270692837462009-10-05T01:58:05.240-07:002009-10-05T01:58:05.240-07:00Liz says it so well; when I was first home as a SA...Liz says it so well; when I was first home as a SAHM I felt that our daughter should be the best looked after baby in the world, that our garden (an acre for goodness sake) should be perfect all the time, and that the house should be immaculate all the time. It was all my job.<br />These were only ever MY expectations. <br />Once I learned to accept a bit of dust and a few weeds, it all became so much easier...Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02600442154053131885noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7000103105398415784.post-49098492184505732192009-10-05T01:50:06.480-07:002009-10-05T01:50:06.480-07:00I really, really sympathise. I too have unearthed ...I really, really sympathise. I too have unearthed the inner clean freak since the tiny daughter has been more mobile, and more dirt-aware herself. It's a tricky balance, isn't it, between keeping things sanitary enough that your brain isn't constantly suspecting some sort of deadly germs lurking in the skirting board and remembering that soil-eating never killed anyone (I hope). And I definitely second what Liz said about being a SAHM rather than a housewife - if Cave Baby is your focus rather than the dust or the washing or whatever, then you're doing your job, and doing it well. Housework is a bonus, not a duty. <br /><br />(And yes! emphatically! to the mountain-climbing nature of extra tasks like washing when the babe is having a clingy day or something.)Earthenwitchhttp://earthenwitch.co.uknoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7000103105398415784.post-48751112138132299552009-10-05T00:49:01.311-07:002009-10-05T00:49:01.311-07:00What you need to do is be the person in the house ...What you need to do is be the person in the house with the highest threshold tolerance to mess and dirt. In my house, my husband is much more sensitive to it than me, hence he is the one who ends up doing most of the cleaning type housework! Result.<br />Plus, you are a SAHM not a 'housewife' therefore your job is lookig after Cave Baby, not looking after the house. It's your job to ensure that Cave Father comes home to a happy and well-looked-after child, full stop - the rest of the jobs around the house are still to be split. After all, as you and I both know, looking after a baby is a full time job in itself most of the time.<br />It's not feminism, it's merely logical negotiation between you and your partner about who does what, what is reasonable, who enjoys what, etc..., so that you both feel fine with it at the end of the day. If either of you is stressed, resentful, too busy, then that's a sign it needs re-negotiating.<br />A lot of mothers take onto themselves the whole care of the household tasks when they stop work with a new baby, but what they should do is just to take on the care of the baby and everything else to be split 50/50. Then as the baby starts needing daddy as well as mummy, the housework and the working for money can start to be re-negotiated and split in different proportions.Lizhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01354606225242312518noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7000103105398415784.post-9812269753129565182009-10-04T21:34:07.978-07:002009-10-04T21:34:07.978-07:00Your last paragraph sounds like a very healthy att...Your last paragraph sounds like a very healthy attitude toward cleanliness. You know, I don't think it's the cleaning itself that bothers me, but the time it takes to do it. So I try to prevent messes. Well, I used to anyway. I, too, want my child to play in the dirt and have fun with his food. It's good for him. And no way should cleaning get in the way of having fun. But....it sure is nice to have a clean house, isn't it?? I guess it's all about moderation, you know?Lisa Chttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00110779167509779880noreply@blogger.com