Monday, September 14, 2009

I Breastfeed My Cat

Well I don't actually breastfeed my cat, though I did once give her some expressed milk in a saucer (she rejected it). But this woman does!

Yes, this strange woman found that her baby would not breastfeed (don't get me on to the subject of babies who "won't" breastfeed) but, not wanting to waste her milk, she gives it to her cat. This does not simply mean offering the milk in a saucer - no, this lady actually feeds the cat directly from her breast.

How do you teach a cat to breastfeed? And, more to the point, how does a cat latch on without sinking its alarmingly sharp teach into your delicate flesh? I mean, cat's faces are pretty immobile; they surely can't mould their mouths around the breast like a baby can. Am I thinking too deeply about this one? I can't help it, it is just so damn weird and intriguing!

This story appeared in Closer magazine last week. Having just admitted, though not explicitly, that I read such shameful rubbish (albeit on a very occasional basis), I must say that the magazine is, on the whole, very supportive of breastfeeding. The following week they printed a very sensible letter asking why, if the cat woman was so averse to wasting her milk, didn't she express it and donate it to a milk bank? And I also came across this article debunking myths about breastfeeding.

So, you see, Closer magazine is not so rubbish after all... Now excuse me, I must get back to that article about Jordan and Peter.

11 comments:

Joe said...

Weird! I'd also be concerned about the bacteria the cat could transfer me/her. It's known that one of the immunity mechanism for breasfed babies is that, when they are exposed to a virus/bacteria, they transfer it to the mom while breastfeeding, so the glands recognize it and create antibodies for it. I suppose it would be the same with ANY bacteria transfered while breastfeeding, well, any mammals...

TopHat said...

I did this last night for my husband. He has a fever/cold and my DD for some reason hasn't been nursing much the past two days so I was engorged. I expressed about half a cup of milk and gave it to him for his fever. It's like I'm the home pharmacy.

willow81 said...

That's hilarious. I'm not showing it to my cats in case they get any ideas.

Jessica said...

My nipples just went and hid somewhere.

Nursing a CAT? Holy hell. That's some kind of torture!

Betsy B. Honest said...

WOW! The thing I don't get is how is she able to get a cat to latch on but not a baby?

docwitch said...

Bloody hell. Perhaps I'm not such a cat person after all. And I'm having visions of "Little Britain" now.

I'm also wondering what on earth was going through that feline's mind the first time the woman put it on her breast. I'm certain my cat sees a can of catfood in place of my head. But that's the natural order of things isn't it?

As for the woman, um, I'm not even going to speculate on her thought process.

At the very least that cat will need therapy. But it will probably get a movie deal instead.

Lyndsey said...

a CAT! Wow, an 8 month old with teeth is painful enough at times...how could you possibly manage it with a cat!

carol b said...

I'm with Betsy B. Honest on that one, the cat but not the baby?!

I'm actually hoping it's just a hoax story, the thought of it sends shivers.

Widge said...

shiver. sooooo wrong.

Elsie Button said...

unbelievable! i had a dream when i was pregnant with my second baby that she had just been born but before i was allowed to feed her i had to feed two of my mums mangy hens. it was v v stressful. this post made me laugh tho, is it really true?!

Cave Mother said...

I've heard that dreams about giving birth to animals are common. I don't know about breastfeeding animals though! I don't know if its true, but I kind of hope it is.