Sunday, December 6, 2009

Self-Pity-A-Thon

Why are we the only family in the restaurant whose baby refuses to sit in a highchair for any longer than the exact time it takes to stuff down a dozen pieces of pasta, then insists on walking around the floor while her mother's dinner goes cold?

Am I the only mum whose baby wakes up coughing every five minutes?

Am I the only breastfeeding mother who occasionally feels like a walking dummy and is sometimes expected to get her boobs out every fifteen minutes, all day?

Am I the only mum who has had literally no time to herself for an entire week?

Does everyone find it this hard?

17 comments:

Joxy said...

**hugs**

Yep, but its a different type of hard now Rye's a toddler.. similarly, they are different types of highs too :-)

Here's hoping tomorrow is a better day.

Jenny said...

It does sound like a hard time, but hopefully it'll get better soon! Right now we are having difficulties too. Our almost-4-month-old will just SCREAM at me and it hurts my ears and my feelings. I always try to give her whatever she needs, but sometimes it's not enough. I end up holding/entertaining her all day long and still get screamed at a good bit. It boils down to working as hard as I possibly can to get chores and things done while also caring for a baby AND getting yelled at for it, all day. It's pretty terrible but I'm hoping it's a phase.

Rach said...

1. You're not - meals with baby on knee and empty high chair at the side were quite common!

2. No

3. Nope - I used to not bother fastening my bra up after a while - it seemed pointless when I had to undo it agin 10 mins later!!

4. Uh uh, this sneaky time catching up with blogs is my time - the exam marking, washing post, folding clothes, tidying the livign room and making space to put the Christmas tre tomorrow will all have to wait for 10 minutes while I indulge myself on here!!!

5. Yes - it's just some won't admit it.

**hugs**

Rach x

Rach said...

that's "washing POTS" clearly LOL

Lisa - edenwild said...

I don't have the same difficulties that you do, but I do have difficulties. Mostly they have to do with my ability to cope.

Cave Mother said...

Sigh. Thanks for the hugs Joxy.

Jenny, I know it's hard when they're so little. Does it get easier? I hope so, but I don't know when.

Rach, thanks for the moral support.

Lisa - coping is so much to do with us and not them, if you know what I mean? Some days I can cope, others, like today, I want to scream (and I do). Thanks for the support.

Erin said...

Right there with you!!!

Anonymous said...

i was just in a restaurant having lunch and a baby was SCREAMING in its pram but mum refused to pick it up. i just don't think babies are designed to sit quietly in prams!

YOU are just responding to your baby's inbuilt need to be held, cuddled and reassured. you are doing a great job and you should be really proud.

Lisa - edenwild said...

I scream, too. And other days I do great. I never think of my child as being difficult...it's all me! I honestly feel that if I had had a better childhood I would be able to cope so much better and have more "good days." I feel as though, deep down, the person that I am on my good days, is the person that I really am, minus the emotional crap from the past.

Liz said...

It does get easier, honestly!

Neither of my kids would ever go in high-chairs (we never had them at home), on one of the few occasions I went out for a meal with my daughter when she was around 13 months, I was chatting to my friend for one minute, lost sight of my daughter and then found her spreading grvael from a large flower pot over the wide marble steps down to the conservatory dining area we were in. She then slipped on the gravel herself, while I was trying to clear it up, bashed her mouth on the flower pot, screamed for 20 minutes and bled all over me and the floor.
That was the last time I even tried to go out for a meal with her for quite some time.
When she was 18 months, I tried again, this time with my husband as well as some friends. By this time, my daughter objected so violently about having her nappy changed that I always used to put a DVD single on the telly for her to watch while I did it quickly. She was obsessed with this DVD single - The Darkness' I Believe In A Thing Called Love. We obviosuly didn't have it with us in the restuarant but she needed her nappy changing and it took me and my husband combined to hold her down long enough to change her (we usually changed her standing up, but the changing room was filthy apart from the table) and we had to sing I Believe In A Thing Called Love at the tops of our voices as we did so, to get her to even remotely co-operate. And when we left the changing room, it was obvious the whole restaurant had heard us.
That was truly the last time I tried to go out for a meal with children until my daughter was about 4!
But life is *much* easier now that my daughter is 6 and my son is 4. Hang on in there. You're not the only one, and things get better.

carol b said...

You sound like an absolutely amazing mother - I've thought that since first discovering your blog...

And because of that you feel these things more than parents who are not so in tune with their child's needs...

put the bad days in the past, your reward will come...
and i know that's easier to say than do, so I'm sending some good vibes your way to help out!

Cave Mother said...

Liz I LOVED your comment. Cave Baby is another nappy-change-hater. We went through about a month of doing it standing up, and are thankfully in a little hiatus where she is actually tolerating lying on a changing table (not dangerous at all!). But your story sounds so much like the sort of stuff that happens to us.

glitterbygrammie said...

Hang in there it get bettter. Well not really it just changes from one thing to another. But the other thing gets easier.

Earthenwitch said...

Sometimes, yes, it is that hard. And yes to pretty much all of the other questions - I have been there on the fifteen-minute feeds, and on nursing strikes, and on walking and howling and throwing and kicking and lying on the floor refusing to move, if it's any comfort! The thing is, this too shall pass. Not always easy to remember, but I have found writing it on the wall somewhere easy to see sometimes helps!

*hugs, and a large metaphysical vodka*

Earthenwitch said...

Sometimes, yes, it is that hard. And yes to pretty much all of the other questions - I have been there on the fifteen-minute feeds, and on nursing strikes, and on walking and howling and throwing and kicking and lying on the floor refusing to move, if it's any comfort! The thing is, this too shall pass. Not always easy to remember, but I have found writing it on the wall somewhere easy to see sometimes helps!

*hugs, and a large metaphysical vodka*

Melodie said...

Reading this post and everyone's comments has been good for my soul. As much as a self-pity-a-thon is well, what it *is*, it's also a load off a mother's shoulders to know she isn't alone. My husband feels sure it is only our children who scream at the top of their lungs and don't listen to us in stores and run amuck. I say, "get out there and read a few blogs honey. You'll feel much better!"

Jessica said...

I hate feeling like this. It seems to come in waves. But you're definitely NOT alone. It's so hard being a stay-at-home-mom, and especially hard to be one who is wholly attentive, attached, and interested.

Hang in there. Some days will rock. Others will make you want to crawl under one.