My Idea of Frugality

Gathering missions are conducted from the Cave on a several-times-a-weekly basis. If frugality implies home grown vegetables and knitting then we are not frugal; I would, however, be more accurately described as tight. As in loading up the almost-out-of-date produce at the supermarket, insisting on tap water at restaurants and walking an extra two miles to save on parking. So whilst I enjoy stocking up on bits and pieces from the local market, the highlights of our shopping trips are always our visits to the twin temples of cheapness, Home Bargains and B&M Bargains. If you have never been to either of these shops then you may not be familiar with the glorious cut-price, fell-off-the-back-of-a-lorry nature of the goods contained within. I don't even know how widespread their branches are but let's say you won't find one cheek to cheek with a Waitrose.

I approach them with the anticipation of a poacher visiting his traps, or a fisherman lifting lobster pots, eager to discover what treasures lie within. And what a treasure trove each shop is: perhaps there will be brand name pasta sauces for 50p; perhaps a bar of 70% cocoa solids chocolate for 39p; perhaps a giant jar of creamy mayonnaise for 80p. Or perhaps nothing! That is half the thrill: you have to buy the best items then and there because tomorrow they might be gone. The latest bittersweet treat is Woolworths (RIP) Liquorice Allsorts, even though I do feel guilty for profiting from someone else's misfortune as I eat them. Now a word of caution: you mustn't be caught out by the poor quality permanent stock! The regular visitor learns to navigate past this to unearth the true bargain delights.

With bargains like these, there is even an after-sales bonus: once you have secured a cornucopia of delicacies for your family, you get to laugh at the crazy prices charged for the same items at your local supermarket. "Look at those fools just chucking full price jars of olives willy nilly into their shopping trolleys", I think evilly to myself whilst rubbing my hands together in a Mr. Burns like manner. "Don't they know that they could get them for half the price next door? Ha ha ha." (I am quite evil really).

So for a real dose of wonderful retail therapy without breaking the bank, let loose your inner tightwad, track down one of these shops and get bargain hunting.